Have you ever tried to meditate, only to find your mind racing a mile a minute, your leg falling asleep, and a feeling of complete frustration? You’re not alone. It’s one of the most common experiences for anyone who tries to start a meditation practice. The truth is, the very act of sitting still and being with your thoughts is often the hardest thing we can do. It goes against our natural human inclination to be constantly busy and distracted. So, why meditation feels hard to begin with? The answer lies not in a personal failing, but in a simple misunderstanding of what it’s all about. It’s not about becoming an expert; it’s about showing up. It’s not about stopping your thoughts; it’s about changing your relationship with them.
Relevant blog to read: Morning vs. Evening Meditation: Which Is Better for You?
What Is Meditation, Really?
The most persistent myth about meditation is that it’s about “clearing your mind.” This misconception is the number one reason people give up.
Meditation is not about having an empty mind. It’s the practice of training your attention and awareness. It’s a tool for observing your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. The goal isn’t to stop thinking; it’s to notice when your mind wanders and gently bring it back to a single point of focus, like your breath. This simple act of returning your focus is the practice itself.
Relevant blog to read: What Is Meditation and How to Practice It Properly
Why Meditation Feels Hard: 4 Common Reasons (and How to Deal with Them)
Understanding the obstacles is the first step to overcoming them. Here are the most common reasons why meditation feels difficult, along with practical solutions.
1. The Myth of the “Empty Mind”
As we said, the biggest hurdle is the expectation that your mind will become a blank slate. When a thought inevitably pops up—as it’s meant to—you feel like you’ve failed.
- How to Deal with It: The “Return” Practice. Instead of seeing a wandering mind as a failure, see it as a success. Each time you notice your mind has wandered and you gently bring it back to your breath, you are strengthening your attention muscle. The hundreds of times your mind wanders in a 10-minute session are not a sign of failure; they are hundreds of repetitions that make you stronger.
2. The Restless Mind
You close your eyes, and suddenly, every thought you’ve ever had comes rushing in at once. This is often called the “monkey mind.” It’s your brain doing what it’s designed to do: think, plan, and worry.
- How to Deal with It: The “Anchor” Technique. You need a single point of focus to tether your attention. The most popular anchor is your breath. Pay attention to the feeling of the air entering and leaving your body. When your mind wanders, acknowledge the thought (“There’s a thought about my to-do list”) and return your focus to your breath. You can also use a mantra (“I am calm”) or a physical sensation, like the feeling of your feet on the floor.
3. Discomfort and Impatience
After a few minutes, your knee starts to ache, you get an itch on your nose, or you feel antsy and impatient. You start to think, “This isn’t working.”
- How to Deal with It: The “Body Scan.” Instead of fighting the discomfort, turn toward it. Acknowledge the sensation. Where is the feeling in your body? What does it feel like? By observing the discomfort rather than reacting to it, you can begin to see it as a temporary sensation, not a permanent roadblock. Remember, meditation is a practice of patience.
4. Expecting Immediate Results
We live in a culture of instant gratification. We expect to feel “zen” and relaxed after one session. When we don’t, we give up.
- How to Deal with It: The “Progress, Not Perfection” Mindset. Meditation is a long-term practice, not a quick fix. The benefits, like reduced stress and improved focus, are cumulative. Don’t focus on the outcome of a single session. Just focus on showing up. Over time, you’ll find that your ability to be present will grow.
Relevant blog to read: Meditation for Stress Relief: 5 Techniques to Quiet the Mind
How to Begin When Meditation Feels Hard
When to Meditate? The best time to meditate is the time that works for you. Consistency is the key. Many people find success in the morning to start the day with intention, or in the evening to wind down.
Where to Meditate? You can meditate anywhere. While a quiet, dedicated space can be helpful for beginners, the ability to practice anywhere is a testament to your resilience. You can meditate on the bus, in a park, or in your car before you go into the office. The most important thing is to make it a part of your life.
How Do I Know If I’m Doing it “Right”? There is no “right” or “wrong” way to meditate. If you are sitting down, focusing on your breath, and making the effort to bring your mind back when it wanders, you are doing it properly. You are not a failure for having thoughts. The goal is not to clear your mind; it’s to befriend it.
Final Thoughts: The Power of Consistency
The hardest part of meditation is simply showing up. The first few sessions might feel like a struggle. Your mind will race, your body will fidget, and you will be impatient. But if you commit to showing up every day for just five minutes, you will begin to see a change. You will begin to build a quiet space within yourself that you can return to, no matter what is going on around you.
Frequently Asked Questions
A. Start with just 2-5 minutes. Once that feels comfortable, you can gradually increase the time.
A. The best time is the time you’re most likely to be consistent. Some people prefer the morning to set an intention for the day, while others prefer the evening to de-stress.
A. This is very common. It can be a sign of a lack of sleep. Try to meditate when you are more alert, such as after a walk or a shower.
A. Both are great tools. Guided meditations can be helpful for beginners to keep their focus, while music can create a soothing atmosphere. However, the ultimate goal is to be able to sit in silence.
A. Meditation can be a spiritual practice for some people, but it can also be a secular practice for improving mental and emotional health. You do not need to be spiritual to reap its benefits.
Author’s note
Thank you for taking the time to focus on your well-being and for being your own cheerleader in this journey called life. I truly appreciate you for choosing to invest in yourself today, and I’m honored that you spent a part of your day here. Remember, every small step you take matters, and you’re doing an amazing job. Keep going—you’ve got this!
